August 8, 2005
Today Gary Sterling is being executed. Around 6:00 P.M. I've run into him here and there and he has seemed to be an alright guy. I don't know what kind of effect it will have once I hear if he has been killed or not. I try not to think about much. But here's what's bo-
Before he was brought out in shackles a large group of Sergeants, Captains, Majors, the Wardens and a few people in plain clothes gathered around the sally port gate. They laughed and shook hands, one female did a little jig. I thought to myself, "How on earth can people be so gleeful of another mans death?" Even if the worst thing happened to my very worst of enemies, I could never gloat over that. And then it dawned on me: It's very easy to be happy that the dragon has been slain. The monster is dead, we have burned out Frankenstein's creature. We aren't humans, we have no face. We are distorted and disfigured beings who have no souls. That's why it is so easy to laugh and dance and cheer.
And so he arrived, shackled like the beast about to be slain. They loaded him into the van and the van pulled out. We will probably never see Gary again. And they cheer, "Hip Hip Hooray!"
August 10, 2005
Boy, this week has been full of drama. They just used riot gas on a guy named "Stick". He seemed agitated and while at recreation he refused to come out of the day room. The problem was that a shower was broken and he had been trying to get the guards to check it out and have it fixed, but an asshole guard who just the other day "jacked" my shower from me refused to listen to him and instead taunted him and intentionally poked and proded him. I call it the gorilla in the zoo syndrome. You know, there's a sign over the gorilla cage that says "Don't feed or tease the animals" yet, there's always some lovely human beings who feel that the rule doesn't apply to them so they throw peanuts and insults at it. Then, that person makes the mistake of getting a little to close to cage… The gorilla reaches out and grabs the person and does some serious damage. Then later on the Ten o'clock news the reporter asks the bystanders what they think caused the gorilla to lash out and they all say, "Gee, I don't know… lt's just a wild animal it needs to be shot or something… "
So, when Stick tried to talk it out they continued to push him. All he wanted was to get the shower fixed. So they used riot gas on him to force him and then sent in a riot team to beat him up and drag him out of the recreation. And all that they had to do to resolve the matter peacefully was to take a look at the shower. Oddly enough, after Stick was carried off to the discipline pod a sergeant ordered the shower be fixed. I guess Stick got what he wanted in the end.
August 12, 2005
Ah, another glorious day at the Polunsky unit. Ha. Ha. I was thinking about some things in my past, because I've been reading this book called The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat. It's really about Neurological problems and things that cause odd behaviours in People. Such as possessions, visions and the like. It got me thinking of genetic predispo-
of the one ones who ended up on the wrong path? I have a sneaking suspicion it's way more than those who came out of adoption okay. Not that I think adoption is bad, not at all. I love my parents to death and I give them credit for so many wonderful things in my life, but I wonder if the damage isn't already done if they aren't adopted at the earliest of ages in a childhood. It brings up so many questions. Just some-
August 16, 2005
Today I had an awesome visit with my wife. I love the time we share together. For those two hours that I'm at visitation with her I'm out of this place and in a different world. Even though the visits take place behind glass, I feel so close. So in love. Lost, swimming in her eyes and love. She is my blessing. We talked about the issues going on her life and mothers. If only I could spill that all out! Talk about more dramatic than any soap opera. My life is full of melodrama, I'm the melodrama bubble boy. Trapped in this big play. Anyways, we had a lovely time. I digress at times and can be melodramatic myself so…
I'll probably ramble on about how much I love Mary many times. But she has really be-
August 20, 2005
Weekends here suck! Not that they are much different from the regular days, but we get no mail. Nothin'. We just sit and listen to the radio and talk and eat and bullshit around. Sigh. Oh and I do my chores. Wash my laundry, clean my cell up and all of that wonder-
August 22, 2005
Tonight is that very last night of my friend Robert Shields life. I am listening to KDOL and his family has been calling in their good byes and they've been playing his favourite songs. It's very heart breaking. I liked Shields. I shared many of my books with him. We like the same music and comics. We had much in common. And while I saw him every so often I like the guy a lot. I get so tired of having people I know being picked off like flies. It really eats at my mind. It's like watching bowling pins slowly drop one by one. Don't they know that this makes victims out of so many others? How can death vengeance be just and right? It should make every human soul cringe in disgust. Ashes Ashes we all fall down.
August 23, 2005
Today is Robert Shields execution date. They were talking about it on the radio and, on the classic rock station out of Houston. Apparently the station intern is going to be a me-
On other topics today has been hot as hell. I've been thinking of how I am going to re-
It's a little past 6:30 P.M. now. I just heard that they did execute Robert. Good Bye Friend
August 24, 2005
It's a little after eight in the morning. My wife is supposed to come and visit today. I hope she comes safe. I listened to that report that the intern did on that station and sur-
I couldn't disagree with him more. Everyone becomes a victim in a revenge situation. The media never reports what it does to the other side. Like because their child was so bad or a monster that they don't have a right to feel pain and grief at the loss of their own. Revenge can't ever be the answer.
It's a little after twelve and I just had my visit with my wife. It was wonderful as always and I never can be patient until the next one. I had a salad, some chips, and my favou-
I'm hoping I will be moved to another pod tonight. I'm back here with all of these guys with regular time. I'm really not supposed to be anywhere near them, nor are they sup-