Randy Halprin

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February 2007

Randys Journals

February 04, 2007
I need to get back to a normal sleep schedule.. Ever since I was moved to
F-pod this past Wednesday I haven
t been getting to bed until about 3-4 in
the morning. I
ve been staying up, chatting with my neighbor and such.. Im
starting to feel it. I keep forgetting I
m not eighteen years old anymore.
m almost thirty years old for crying out loud (Why does that seem so.. old?
Haha) I can remember when I was just a child and thinking people who were
thirty were old farts.. Ah yeah, life through the eyes of a child. I miss
Not much has been going on this week. Probably why I haven
t done any
writing in my journal. Though, there was an incident here on our section
that started at about 9:45 A.M. or so.
They had just passed out lunch and a guy upstairs
jacked the food slot.
Basically, what that means is, he stuck his arm out the rectangular portal
in our cell doors. This is an effective tactic to get a ranking officer
down to the pod, because usually when you ask the normal floor officer,
ll refuse to get a sergeant. So this is one of the few ways to get him
to come to the pod.
Well, there is this real.. hmmm, how do I say this nicely?? This real jerk
of a sergeant, named Brown. He loves to stir up trouble and curse at people
and in general just be a true ass. Very unprofessional. He comes to the
pod cursing and screaming and making threats against the inmate instead of
just trying to hear what the issue at hand might be
For whatever reason,
sergeant Brown felt that the inmate was just trying to get moved to another
cell on the other side of the pod and so he says,
Oh yeah, Ill move your
fucking ass to a cell on this section, but your bitch ass ain
t going
anywhere else. I ain
t falling for it.. Well, the inmate says, Since you
t want to talk to me with sense, I refuse to give up this slot.
To make a long story short, the riot team is called and the guy is gassed
and forced out of his cell. This is what I mean when I talk about how
things escalate and go beyond what it needs to be. This is pretty much the
standard stupidity of TDCJ and the people they place in authorities
positions. It
s not ignorance. Its stupidity; plain and simple.
I was listening to the radio earlier and heard a song I hadn
t heard in
Groove Is In The Heart by Delight.. It brought back a funny memory
from school in Kentucky. I can
t remember if Ive written about this before
or not, but I enjoy the memory, so I
ll tell it again.
It was autumn of 2004 (*NOTE FROM THE PERSON TYPING THIS
1994*). Me and my friend had decided to have a fun game of kick ball and so
we made our own teams, and one of my friends Jim designed and drew us team
logos onto t-shirts.
We went down to the baseball field with a boom box, some sodas, blankets and
planned to spend the day down there.
The game of kick ball was full of energy, what made it even more fun was
heavy metal was playing and so we would mosh mid game, wrestling around,
horse playing and in general being teenage boys. As the games went on they
became more aggressive and some players would rush at the pitching mound on
purposely bad throw. This would kick off a wrestling free for all between
both teams.
I think Matt, my roommate realized the heavy metal was contributing to the
aggressive vibes of the game so he stopped everyone and said,
Guys, guys!
We need to chill and I got the cure for some good lovin
fun He put a new
CD on and a familiar bass line blasted through the speakers.
Groove Is In
The Heart
began to play and we were all like Oh.yeah! The game
lightened up and soon we were all laughing and hugging each other.
We stayed on the field until dinner came and we were all very hungry. No
one wanted to go back to the dorms to put on pants (one of the dining room
rules was one couldn
t wear shorts in the cafeteria) and no one wanted to
smuggle food out and take it to the ball field. Someone suggested we wrap
our blankets around our waist and maybe we
d be aloud in. We all agreed it
was worth the try, plus it was funny as hell.
We all walked up to the cafeteria with blankets wrapped around our waist.
Mr. Gibson was a cafeteria monitor and he looked at us and someone said,
Cmon! Our legs are covered up! Mr. Gibson thought for a second and then
eat and leave. No hanging around.
We walked inside and needless to say turned a lot of heads. We thought we
were so cool. Haha.
In other news, my new MySpace page is up at
MySpace.com/Peace__Love__Compassion. I think it looks really good. A much
different look from the original page. This one is more geared towards
being an activist page for anti-death penalty stuff. My friend did a really
good job. It
ll be evolving as the weeks go by and Ill bring myself back
into, but for now we
re trying to keep a low profile.
m listening to KDOL and The Shout Out Show right now. I cant wait to
hear my friends. Last week a special friend had her kids say hello and man,
it just about melted my heart. It was so cute and touching. It
s small
things like that that make you feel normal, human, warm inside, alive. I
t really explain it, but you want those sort of connections that left up
your soul.
The super bowl is on tonight and so I
m going to let my neighbor listen to
it with me since he doesn
t have a radio. Im pulling for the Indianapolis
Colts. I
ve got 200 push ups betted on the game. I hope they win =)
Guess I
ll stop this for now.. Ive got a feeling more madness will ensue
later around dinner. Some guys are still upset over the incident earlier
today. We shall see.
Round two. Another man just jacked the food slot. Right now they
re going
to get the gas and riot team. The guards are pissed because it
s almost
shift change plus it
s their Friday and right before the super bowl.
Here comes the riot team. They just gassed him, at 4:11 p.m. They
ve now
gassed him with two canisters. If this isn
t excessive force I dont know
what is- truth of the matter the inmate was only trying to get a matter
discussed with a ranking official. Instead they have used gas two times.
Absolutely wrong. Stupid. Pure stupidity.
The gas is now heading this way. My nose is running and my throat is
burning. I
m not coughing yet, but it feels like (they just gassed him a
third time! Jesus!) an itch in the back of my throat
Its 4:30 p.m. right
now. Is this a stalemate or standoff. 4th time at 4:34 p.m. Gas has been
utilized. They
re now using the gas as a punishment because they knew hes
part of the non-violent movement. They could pull him out of the cell, but
they just keep gassing the dude. This sick absurdity.
Okay, I
m coughing now and my eyes are getting blurry from tears. Theres a
visible pump of gas in the environment agh, I gotta stop writing I just keep
coughing. The riot team just burned off and a woman holding a camera and a
sergeant is still in front of the dudes cell. As of now, they
ve not used
any physical force.
Sergeant Brown 4:50 p.m. and now is suited up as if he
s going to be a part
of the team. Wow. This is becoming quite comical. Brown is a very big
obese man. The rest of the team came back in and they were about to open
his cell door to use force- BUT!!! The door is jammed. Brilliant! 4:54
p.m. They just entered his cell and are now beating him up. Some one is
stop resisting! How in the hell can you resist in a small cell
and seven men beating the snot out of your ass? Ah shit I can hardly
Okay, it
s 5:11 p.m. and the ventilation has just been turned on to suck the
gas off of the pod. Man, it was getting bad.
s 7:46 p.m. now. The Colts are winning so far 19 to 14. After the game
m going to sleep. Im worn out.
I think that does it for today. Gotta say goodnight especially to my
Hawaiian princess!

February 05, 2007
Today was a day with real jerks working. Officer M. the number one of them
all. I don
t use his full name because hes a real vindictive person. What
m hoping is if TDCJ officials read this that theyll put two and two
together. Anyways he works
One card first shirt and was on F-pod today
So, officer M. has this little
hit list of about 10 people he hates and
s guaranteed that if hes working the pod you can guarantee that if
re on his list, you wont get recreation, a meal or a shower. He will
not give them to you. What I don
t get is why the ass is even allowed to
work in TDCJ in the fist place, when last summer he was suspended for trying
to break an inmates arm
apparently him and an inmate had words, so at lunch
time when the inmate stuck his hand out with is cup to get juice officer M.
grabbed his arm and forced it down over the slot
which makes me believe that
the only language TDCJ (Texas Department of Criminal Justice) knows is violence.
I mean, look at the events of yesterday as a prime example. If
the state hires jerks like him and others no wonder we have prisons like Abu
Ghraib and Guantanamo Bay. Violence, hatred- they
re like diseases. They
are a disease that incubates and grows and spreads through weak minds..
Other than officer M. and his following toady guards, the day was quite
beautiful. Sunshine poured through my window and I was pretty productive.
Right now I
m just listening to the radio, waiting for mail to come.Being
that I received none on Friday, I should hopefully get some today. Maybe
something from my brother Jimmy- I
m praying for a message from himI really
really hope.

February 06, 2007
Today has started off quite exceptional
Its 8:16 a.m. and while Ive only
had about 4 hours of sleep.. due to a rowdy neighbor cussing out the guards
all night long, I
m in very high spirits. See, I received something very
special this morning from the mail room and it really has touched the depths
of my heart.. I feel so
special? Loved? Obviously, Ill cherish this for
time to come
I feel like Ive been sucked into a whirlwind. Its all
happened so fast, yet it doesn
t feel wrong. Not awkward not bad. Maybe a
little scary, as it can be sometimes when your heart has been broken
before.. But.. Well, in this one book I got there
s a passage and it says,
Some how, out of all the twists and turns our lives could have taken, and
out of all the changes we might have missed, it almost seems like we were
given a meant-to-be moment
that turned out to mean the world to me..AHHH!
m fallingfalling.
-Thanks for making my heart sing, M.- (Yeah, you know who you are =) )
ll be going to recreation in a few minutes. Im going to exercise and
think for a while. When I come back I wanted to write about a disgusting
news report this news channel CBS 11 doesn
t even try to disguise its
blatant bias
in its self righteous reporting. It was a report on the Texas
parole system
Completely misleading any factually incorrect. Oh, an example
of how biased this news station is- On a report for some strip clubs the
reporter began it by saying,
For some, one persons trash is anothers
…” I was like WHAT? More to come when I return.
s now 9:40 p.m.. My day got past me.. I was just moved to B-pod and so Ill
have to write tomorrow. Gotta get cleaning.. ugh.

February 07, 2007
Yesterday I mentioned a report on the news about the Texas Parole System.. It
had me really upset and I
m still fuming over the idiocy of it.. Basically
the report implied that TDCJ ( Texas Department Of Criminal Justice ) was
allowing inmates to parole early. Of course every inmate released is a

Violent Criminal
. Now, the way the current system works is on any violent
offense i.e., robbery, assault, murder, capital murder pre-2005 ( any
capital crime after 2005 is death of life with out parole ) rape etc
have to complete half or more of your sentence to be eligible for parole.
So, say you went out and assaulted a person today you received a 30 year
sentence, you would not be eligible for parole until you
ve served fifteen
years. There
s no such thing as Good time , even though were supposed
to be able to receive it for good behavior, work, school etc. Most of the
time on violent offenses you will serve no less than 80% of that sentence.
However, due to over crowding and courts seemingly giving out life sentences
for everything under the sun, the system is stacking up a myriad of problems
forcing parole to release those who have served half of their sentence and
who have behaved in prison during their time.
Unfortunately, the media can
t see the forest for the trees and they want to
sensationalize the story and put unnecessary fear into the hearts of good
Could you be living next to a killer? Find out at ten in our
special investigative report!
Why dont they offer real solutions or how
about reporting on why the state does not focus on rehabilitation or why the
state continues to cut programs for drug abuse, violence or anger
management. Why have they not reported how the state has limited access of
chaplain services from churches and other religious organizations and
programs.. and don
t say its because of the ACLU, as some might do.. The ACLU
is not against religion, they just want equal services to all prisoners and
The truth of the matter is people can hollar and cry foul that too
many people are being released or the sentences given to offenders aren
lengthy enough, but they never seem to think about the long term effects.
How many more prisons need to be built? How do you cover the medical costs
as prisoners age and are diagnosed with an alarmingly growing rate of
hepatitis and type 2 diabetes? Do you just want to punish, or offer a shot
at redemption and to serve the community successfully?
Or you can just turn on your T.V. and watch the media frighten you with
s my sermon for the day =) Peace.

February 08, 2007
My attorney came today. I wasn
t expecting a visit from him until the end
of the month. I was actually asleep when the guards came to my door to
escort me to the visitation building. I hopped out of bed in a daze, half
ass brushed my teeth and rinsed my face and sloppily got dressed.
He came to drop off an affadavit for one of my co-defendants for them to
sign, basically saying that had my attorneys from my trial asked him to
testify on my behalf, he would have. ( This is to show negligence from my
original attorneys..) Also, in the affadavit he would swear that I never
pulled or shot a gun and that I didn
t expect anyone to be killed. I would
post it up, but right now it
s confidential, but as soon as I can, I will.
I just hope my co-defendant signed it. My attorneys stroked his ego ( and
he does have a massive meglo maniac head! ) So hopefully he
ll be willing to
All in all it was a good meeting.
Much of the rest of the day has been spent reading Al Gore
s book, An
Inconvenient Truth
which was also turned in a whats been touted as an
excellent and shocking documentary. The book is really good and breaks down
the whole global warming issue. It gives charts, pictures of seas, lakes,
icebergs, glaciers taken years ago and comparing them to now. I highly
recommend reading it.

February 11, 2007
It has been a bad weekend up until now.. I just received such a wonderful,
heart melting message from KDOL and ditto, all the way!!! I swear, this
girl is doing crazy things to my head and heart. Haha. It
s definitely
not a bad thing! I feel like I
ve been reawakened after a year. It feels
Well, up until now, the weekend sucked. I totally broke a radio and had to
pay for it to be replaced. I had such confidence in my skills!! Now, my
little Mr. Fix it bubble has been burst. I won
t get into details, but know
that I feel like such an idiot. Oh well.. Maybe I
ll redeem myself with
another one here in a short while. Then, I
m going to listen to the
Grammys. I hear the group
The Police are back together. Thatll be
cool to hear.

February 12, 2007
Man.. The craziest thing was just uttered by a nurse who does insulin shots
for the diabetics on this pod
As she was passing down the walk way, a guy in
the day room, recreating jokingly and good naturedly said,
Hey, what about
my shot?
She muttered a disgusting comment (It happened at 2:54 P.M. as I
documented the time..)
Theyll give you a shot when its time to die.
Implying the lethal injection. I don
t think he understood what she said,
but I understood completely and went to my cell door and said,
What is your
name? How can you utter something when your primary job is the well being
of others? You call us sick, but listen to your own words.
A guard told
me to chill out, but I was so pissed! I
m gonna find out her name and once
I do, I
m putting it in this journal and Im going to ask that complaints be
filed against her. I
ll write a grievance also. How can you work in a
medical profession and then make a comment about killing someone? Demented.
s south east Texas for you..
I went to recreation real late, but it was nice, because it was sooo quiet.
I got a beautiful Valentines Day card that had me smiling from ear to ear
and came back, showered and after I type this up I
ll catch some Jay Leno
and South Park. I
ve gotta get up at six to go outside. I cant stay up
too late.
Good night and Peace.

February 13, 2007
Ugh.. So tired! I Just got done cleaning my cell and getting things in order
in case I am to be moved here in about an hour or so. I
m ready to go so
long as it
s not E-pod or F-pod, but Im probably jinxing myself. For some
reason or the other they
re not giving us showers today. Nobody has given a
legitimate explanation, but the water is just fine, as my sink water is
running both hot and cold.. Hmmm.
I got about four hours of sleep last night and then got up at six in the
morning. I
m hooked on listening to this cartoon South Park . It is so
funny. Nothing is sacred. Sure, the humor can be infantile and potty
mouthed, but some of the episodes are really a stroke of comedic brilliance.
Not much else is going on.. Just waiting to see if I
m moved. If anything
exciting happens I
ll write more. If not, I think this is going to be it
for the day. I
m really tired and I need to catch the world news.. Peace.
11:15 P.M. I was moved to A-pod. Cool section. Love it here. Next to my
buddy Jeff =)

February 14, 2007
s valentines day and Im sitting here at a little after five in the
afternoon waiting for the special valentines show they are going to do on
s pretty cool that they will be doing this for the guys on
Polunsky Unit. Pretty darned special.
I was moved last night and right next to a good friend Jeff and another dude
m pretty tight with. Ving. Jeff is insane! Hes a devout Christian.
But this guy has the biggest sense of humor I
ve ever known. Hes sooo
funny and tells the craziest stories of his times in the Marine corps.. He
a great guy.
Ving is a black dude and he has it very hard here. I say that because he
well educated and
acts white I say hes secure with who he is and is as
an individual. I had a friend like him at school in Kentucky, anyways,
because he
s himself, most of the black dudes wont associate with him, nor
the white guys.. Pure stupidity. I
d say ignorance, but they know better.
So, Ving has been in a constant depression and he has no family support and
I really feel for him. He
s a really good artist and write also.. Prison
sucks. Death row sucks more.
Yea!!! I just received a beautiful Valentines greeting and I
m all smiles
right now. So glad everything worked out. Falling, Falling falling
Its so
Guess I
ll close on cloud nine. Peace.

February 15, 2007
ve just been relaxing today, kind of in a writers funk. I shouldnt even
be wasting my time with this entry.. Yet, here I am. So much on my mind not
knowing how to get it all out. I wish I could just let it pour, but the
faucet of thoughts has been turned off and tightened down with a monkey
wrench. Mail is all messed up too. Why do they keep messing with my mail?

February 18, 2007
Wow.. We
ve had two days of sunshine. Its been so nice! Yesterday I went
outside with Ving and we exercised for a little bit and then just enjoyed
the nice weather. It
s been super cold here lately and the sun sparse. Im
just glad to have had that moment out in the sun. We were going to play a
little ball, but could only manage three games, as it was too cold. I
really need to start jogging and getting back in shape. I
ve got an
important visit to get ready for =) =) =) =) Geeze, it seems like it
just right around the corner.
Today has been sort of boring. I wish I had something of substance to write
about, but I really don
t.. Im not unhappy- on the contrary Im very happy
right now and I
m enjoying my time with a woman Ive been writing for a bit
now and while it seems everything is happening so fast, she
s amazing and
gorgeous and I
m really smitten. Under a spell.. It still scares the crap
out of me, though.. Maybe I
m holding back a little.. Hmmm. Well, it is what
it is and if is meant to be it will be..
m going to spend the rest of the evening reading so this is it for today.

February 19, 2007
Today is a bogus holiday- Presidents day. Things have been super slow, I
had a really good exercise and a funny thing happened as I was jogging. I
got called
The White Devil !! by a dude. Crazy stuff. This one female
guard has left her post and has been hanging out with this guard working the
pod. Young love, I guess. This place is sooo high school. She
s nice so I
wont write negative things about the two, but still you would think with all
of the various escapes and problems they
d be a little less complacent. Tax
payers money hard at work.
Guess I
ll close here. Thats all to report. Peace.

February 20, 2007
Last night I was moved to D-pod. I keep coming back to the same cell! I've
been in three cell about 6 times since I came off of level 2 back in
November. I don't mind where I'm at, though there is one guy here that
tends to get on my nerves. A chronic masturbator of sorts.. ugh. He lives
in self delusions that every female guard wants him.. Sheesh.
This pod is pretty nasty and there seems to be an influx of may flies
everywhere. I've seen about ten or twelve in my cell and I try to chase
them out, as I really don't like squashing them anymore, but I have a strong
dislike of bugs- they freak me out. I don't know why. Childhood fear or
Not much else happening around here.

February 21, 2007
Man, what in the world is up with my cards??? I've been waiting since
January to get them.. I had found out that we could order cards from within
and I love cards, always have and I love sending them to friends and such.
I wonder if the mail room is just holding them? It's frustrating. Do I
write the mail room or the company?
It's later now. Don't know why I wrote the above paragraph, but I
did.. talking out loud, I suppose. Good news!!! My brother Jimmy responded
to a message I wrote to him, after a friend had found him. It was awesome
and wonderful to hear from him. It's been over 11 years. Most importantly,
he forgives me. That means so much to me and I know the kid probably has a
huge and kind heart. Awesome. I'm just so happy about this and look at it
like it's one step closer to a full family reconciliation and reunion. I
want for that to happen so badly. I think I would feel as if my life came
full circle if that happened. Heck, just to have my fathers forgiveness and
for him to see who I am now. That would be many prayers answered.
Uh oh.. another may fly headed my way. LEAVE ME ALONE, I'M TRYING TO TYPE
LITTLE BUG!!! Haha, as if the sucker can read this. Well, they don't seem
to understand verbal warnings too well, either.

February 23, 2007
It's Friday and I'm sitting here just letting my mind wander. Kind of in a
daze. It had been so nice the last few days and then another rain storm
came in. I think spring may be here a little early. I'm sick and tired of
rain. I think I already wrote this, once, but when I was younger I used to
love gloomy days. I was comfortable feeling depressed, if that makes sense.
In Kentucky, at school, I'd go up to my room, put on the Cure's
"Disintegration" album and get lost in the music. Then, I found The Cure's
"Pornography" album and talk about manic depressive music! I'd literally
lay my head in between two speakers and turn out the lights..
But now, living with so much gloom and doom it gets old real fast. I'm all
about the happiness and love : ) I still like depressing music,
cause I
think a part of me will always have that (unless I was on meds. Haha)
encoded in my DNA. I just want blue skies and sunshine! Lots of it!
I tell you what.. Now that it's warming up, I'm ready to get back into the
groove of playing some ball. I really need to get out and run. Ever since
I came off of level 2 I feel as if I gained about ten pounds. I was doing
so good for a while and now I'm getting a little belly again : ) I started
working out again, so it's all good. I've got to get back in shape for my
Hawaiian goddess : ) : ) I'm pushing it really hard.
Guess I'll end this here. I'm just jumping around. Maybe we'll have
sunshine tomorrow.

February 24, 2007
Oh, glorious Saturday : ) The sun is out, it's warm and bright. I just
got finished writing a good piece I'll include with this entry. It's about
the lack of compassion in dealing with guys who have execution dates. They
really do those men wrong when it gets close to them being murdered.
I'm sitting here looking at some new photos my Hawaiian friend sent of her
and her children. Such a beautiful family. The picture radiates warmth and
love. Love it.
I still need to go to recreation today, I think I probably will around four
P.M. The day is still young.
Not much happening around here. I say that a lot, huh? It's funny, because
a lot of people use the movie "Ground Hog Day" as a metaphor on our lives,
and I have to say it's pretty much true. It could even be considered as a
syndrome, I'd say. Everything is the same (awww shit, damn chronic
masturbator is in the day room : ( I've got to block my cell window for
two hours so I don't see him doing his 'thing'.)
Guess I'll close here. I'm going to do some reading and maybe write on some
other things. I've got a real good idea for a short story I'm going to call
"Reflections" about twins, one on death row, one free.. I did an outline, so
we'll see where it goes.

February 25, 2007
It's a beautiful Sunday morning. I'm sitting here listening to "This
American Life" and getting caught up on work. I didn't really have much to
write for today. Though, I wanted to include a couple of pieces of
information I found out over the past few days..
First, in regards to the nurse who made the pro-death penalty comment, her
name is Ms. Curry. She works for the corrections division of UTMB
(University of Texas Medical Branch) which has a contract with most county
jails and the Texas Department of Corrections.. There are a few nurses with
her attitude and I've made it my personal goal to see that her comments are
addressed. I don't know how you can be a profession of healing and express
pro-death penalty comments.
Second, I'm including a little interview I did in which a guy here who is my
neighbor right now, claims he saw a brief part of a video of the execution
of a guy named Gary Graham. I cannot verify this, but I'm working hard on
it. Still, I found his words seemingly disturbing and very honest. Here it
Q: May I use your name for this little interview?
A: No.
Q: Why not?
A: Because my attorneys told me not to stir any trouble up.
Q: Don't you feel it important to let it be known about this?
A: Yeah, but I'm trying to keep these guards off my back. I have a new
retrial coming up.
Q: Okay. Can you describe to me how you saw this video? What was the
video about?
A: It was an execution video of Gary Graham.
Q: How were you able to see it?
A: I was called out for a telephone call. When I went into the use of
force room to make the call, there were some guards and rank watching it
like a movie. (Note: The use of force room is where we are taken to make
phone calls; a large room filled with riot gear; it has two desks and a
T.V./VCR monitor)
Q: What did you see?
A: It fucked my head up.
Q: Describe to me what you saw, if it's not too difficult for you.
A: The dude was strapped to the table and his face looked like he was beat
up. I guess he put up a struggle before he was strapped down. I heard
rumors he tried to fight before they took him to the walls. (Note: the
Walls, is the unit in Huntsville Texas where they take you to from
Livingston, Texas to be executed on your date.) Anyways, I saw him on that
table and it looked like he was suffocating- his face changed colors and he
let out a gasp and then there was some commotion.
Q: Did it look like he was in pain?
A: I don't know. I just knew he was suffocating.
Q: So, you're telling me that the guards escorting you and the other guards
plus ranking officials were all watching this tape?
A: Uh huh. But then Sergeant Ludwig walked into the room and he looked
disturbed by it and got pissed and said,
don't ya'll ever show this shit in
front of an inmate!' He walked over and turned the T.V. off.
Q: Who were the ranking officers watching this?
A: Ummm. I think Lieutenant Price and Sergeant Pool.
Q: How do I know you aren't making this up?
A: I got no reason to make this shit up. I seen it. I just got all
detailed with you.
Q: Why didn't you tell someone? Why didn't you write a grievance?
A: I told you; I was about to have a retrial and I didn't want to start no
shit. I'm about to have another retrial this summer and my Attorney
promised to look into it after this is over.
Q: Alright.
. . . . . .
Well, like I said, I can't verify any of this. I did ask someone who knew
Gary Graham, and they said he did get beat up before his execution. My
theory on how the video tape was made is that they considered it a "use of
force" incident and have to tape and document anything that requires force.
Executions are not to be video taped, but if the were video taping a use of
force, then maybe they allowed this to be taped. I don't know. I'm
surprised it hadn't turned up on the internet and I know if the tape still
exists, as it should unless Huntsville destroyed it, it should be
accessible.. I do think the guy who told me all of this is being truthful.
It's too detailed and this guy is mentally retarded to make something like
that up. He was upset in talking about it, I could hear it in his voice.
It's almost time for me to listen to KDOL. I need to get to other stuff.

February 26, 2007
Monday and a beautiful Monday at that. I really think spring is finally
here. I went outside earlier and it felt great. Too bad there wasn
t too
much sun on my side
cause I can use it. Im looking like casper the
friendly ghost. I
m ready to play some serious ball and do some serious
running. I think it
ll be good for my mind.
I think tonight I feel like grossing people out by telling them what
s in
some of the wonderful food : ) This is from the book Fast Food Nation by
Eric Schlosser. I will use two excerpts, one on food dye- red dye to be
precise and then, the other on the true definition of what a label means
when an item says
Natural Flavors.
The Vegetarian Legal Action Network recently petitioned the FDA to issue
new food labeling requirements for foods that contain natural flavors. The
group wants food processors to list the basic origins of their flavors on
their labels
.One of the most widely used color additives- whose presence is
often hidden by phrase
color additive violates a number of religious
dietary restrictions, may cause allergic reactions in susceptible people and
comes from unusual sources. Cochineal extract (also known as carmine or
carminic acid) is made from the desiccated bodies of female Dactlyopius
coccus costa, a small insect harvested mainly in Peru and the Canary
Islands. The bug feeds on red cactus berries and the color taken from the
berries accumulated in the females and their unhatched larvae
what happens next is the insect is dried and then ground into pigment. Many
yogurts, fruit bars, candies, fruit filling and Ocean Spray- Grapefruit
Juice use this pigment to color their items to look pink, red or purple.
A typical fast food milk shake contains over forty artificial flavors!
McDonalds French fries are flavored with beef extract! Many fast food
restaurants that claim a
natural smoke flavor in their beef are really
using a chemical extract captured when saw dust is charred. Yum yum yum.
Who doesn
t love the smoky taste of saw dust? I do not miss meat at all
I guess I
ll close on that wonderful and delicious note! Peace.

February 27, 2007
Howdy do. Another wonderful day in this place. Actually, it
s quite pretty
outside. Plenty of sun light pouring through my window. Our section didn
have recreation today, or else I would
ve definitely been trying to get
ve spent much of the afternoon talking to one of my neighbors and
consoling him. I don
t know what I know about love, myself, but hes going
through much of what I went through with my ex-wife and I can understand the
pain. He
s a little slow, and has many disabilities and sadly this is his
very first relationship ever. It
s kind of heart breaking to know that he
never had any real experiences with a woman outside of death row. Because
of his disabilities he has a hard time explaining how he feels and how he
expresses himself. He has anger issues also. I think my best advice to him
was to no react in an aggressive or violent manner. I could tell by his
voice; the very sad tone, that he was going through hell. It
s ironic how
one of the most purest and uplifting human emotions can also be so
Mail seems to be at an all time low here. Everyone is being affected by
whoever is holding up mail. Get this; a guy had to find out two freakin

weeks later that a family member had died. Not only did the unit chaplain
not inform the man of the lost family member, but a letter that should
gotten to him no more than three or four days, took two weeks. The problem
is, no one knows how to solve this problem. Grievances come back with
replies that say you can
t complain about the mail. The mailroom says that
we get it when they get it and the powers that be just don
t give a damn.
s frustrating and its affecting friends and families. If it werent for
the radio station KDOL and those who get visits, no one would have any clue
of what
s going on in the present. Hmmm. Maybe thats the idea. Maybe
they want to keep everyone purposely out of touch with the present. Point
is, we need solutions and we need them fast. What
s going to happen if this
t solved is some dude back here is going to flip his lid and end up
attacking someone and that would just be a horrible outcome any way you look
at it.
ll probably be moved tonight. I hope to go somewhere decent. Who knows.
Guess I
ll get ready just in case.

February 28, 2007
Okay.. I
m a little outraged right now. I was just listening to the news and
they were talking about a high profile capital murder trial in Sugar Land,
Texas- a suburb or Houston. Apparently the defendant allegedly hired his
two friends to murder his family for the insurance claim. Two of the family
members were killed. A tragedy to say the least.
Now, one of the friends directly involved with the murder; a participant and
driver of the getaway car was given
15 YEARS!!! Just fifteen freakin
years! He was a freakin
participant and he takes a plea agreement to
testify on the others for fifteen years!! For murder! This just goes to
show how messed up our system is. The law of parties is ridiculous for one,
but also, to be convicted of a capital murder you have to knowingly and
willingly have participated in the murder. Now, there are tons of guys on
death row under the law of parties who face losing their life for being at
the wrong place at the wrong time, or hanging around the wrong people. This
guy who was given 15 years confessed! That
s just mind boggling. So, hes
not as dangerous? I don
t get it.. How is it fair that his two co-defendants
are illegible for the death penalty, but not him?
Cause hes willing to
testify? I don
t get it. Just another reason why the death penalty is not
fair or an acceptable answer. The system is a joke and outrage. Justice is

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