Lets see if I can´t back into the swing of things and keep us with this on a more consistent basis...
I´ve been so overhelmed with lifes BS over the past couple of months that I´ve really not had time for much of else.
But things are calming down. The storm has subsided and finally I see a bit of light at the end of the tunnel.
Sometimes when you´re staring down a big bad dragon all it really needs is its testicles messaged.
Okay, just laughed writing that! But it is true.
I could use the same old worn out cliches like "grab the bull by its horns" or someother nonsense.
Gotta be original!
I´m not ashamed to admit I had a huge pair of dragon balls in my hand!
For anyone that has no idea what I´m talking about I´ll give a littel refresher on past events
...I had a HUGE legal scare.
I mean, in hindsight maybe I overreacted a little bit and maybe misjudged the situation but when you´re in a fight for your life I´m not sure you really can over react.
But basically I thought I was being screwed on my appeals. It turned out to be a big miscommunication between my lawyer and I, but it took my reaction to get it all worked out and now I feel my lawyer knows I´m a fighter and I refuse to just roll over and get try humped. Now we are in constant communication and my Federal Appeal, which is due on the 18 th of this month is better than it ever would´ve been, I really believe.
I´ve seen the final content as my lawyer was here on friday and I was relieved and excited at the draft.
There are never any guarantees in the appeals process, but I do know that I have a strong arguement and I just can´t see how a Judge, if he is truly unbiased and fair, can ignore the facts.
It is that strong. My goal is in the next few weeks is to have the appeal up and posted on this site and let you, the dear reader, decide for yourself.
I haven´t really be in the mind frame to write much, but I have been reading like a maniac.
I just finished two John Green books that I HIGHLY recommend, but be warned:
YOU WILL CRY LIKE A BABY upon reading...
One, I´m sure a lot of people know about as the movie version just came out
"The Fault In Our Stars"
Please don´t cheat and watch the movie first...Read the book.
There are a lot of discussions about life and death and what we get out of it...
I swear to god you´ll cry like a baby the last 30 or 40 pages, but as the song goes
"I could missed the pain, but I´d have missed the dance" or something like that.
The other, Looking For Alaska wasn´t as deep, I don´t think, but it really did bring back some memories of going to boarding school, as that is where the novel itself is set.
There is a twist and it is a tear jerker, but it was transported back to Kentucky and the pranks me and my friends used to pull. One particular great one was when we "pennied" another rooms door.
The way it worked was you took a stack of pennies and wedged between the door frame and the door itself.
Don´t ask me to explain the phycics of it because I don´t know, but it caused the door to jam and the guys trapped on the inside would have no way of getting out of the room. We did it on a school day around six in the morning. they were late to class. Success.
Anyways, If you like to read, check those books out.
I a past entry I said when you´re in a crutch you learn who your real friends are and i want to say thanks for those who really helped me get throught the stress of it all and didn´t just pay me lips service and say
"Oh, I hope it gets better for ya!"
but instead literally dropped what they were doing and offered to help in some kind of way.
Big or small. You know who you were and i can´t thank you enough.
I know that my own stupid choices got me in the mess in the first place and it is no ones responsibility to get me out of it lets me know that
1)there are genuinely good people out there. Those that would hate upon them for helping out someone like me have no idea what true goodness is.
2) They let me know and understand my own self worth and value.
3) They inspire me to be just as loyal and loving as they are. How can you lose when you have friends like that!
I just wanted to get a new entry out there and I´m going to do a better job of keeping it fresh and give you a reason to invest a few minutes of your time each day.
I´m thankful of your time and I hope that you´ll stay tuned!
I'm sore, I'm tired. I feel like a dog who was left outside in
the rain for way too long. Which for me, isn't a terrible thing comsidering the benefits of the day. I woke up, set to my normal routine and was expecting to go to recreation in the day room. An outside slot came open and I jumped at the oppurtunity to get outside because
1) fresh air is great. This building is wafting pure stank; mold, body odor...sure, you get used to it like I'm sure a guy who works in a garbage dump does, but sometimes the olfactory senses need a break. They need to feel the wind beneath their nostrils (see what I did there? Clever...)
2) At this point I'm not pale. I'm translucent. I've had two sun burns over the past week and while I run the risk of having angator skin or shedding like a snake, I'll take that over the constant 'powder' jokes.
Or "Damn Randy! You need some sun " hardeehar-
it necessary to point out. Skin cancer? Give it to me! ( that is a joke...partially)
Now, my intention was to play basket ball and do some exercise but this guy that I went out with has been reading this NAVY SEALS exercise book and I guess he wants to try out for SEAL TEAM SIX while on death row. He's like, " I put together this work out. Wanna try it?" And because I must be a glutton for pain I said, Sure." JESUS HAROLD CHRIST. I felt like I was going to puke. But I got through it. It was brutal. It actually was pretty badass. I was energized. I felt like HE-
( well, his underwear were red, I think with a belt...who wears a belt
with under wear? Clearly HE-
We rested and then began to play some ball when out of nowhere the sky
darkened and a storm of epic proportion struck with the fury of Zeus. It
was pretty cool. It rained and rained. I was certain the guards would come out and get us and I'm glad that they didn't. The storm passed and we went
back to playing ball. I won 10-
Tomorrow I should get a phone call from my lawyer and so that'll be good. I think he plans on filing my appeal a day early and so we'll see what he has to say about that. Stay tuned. For now, I'm about to read a little and crash out. I know in the morning I will probably be sore as hell; and hate my life, but you can't put a price ( or pain ) on good health.
Today is humid. Like miserable, can't breathe, hot sticky humidity. Who on earth felt it was a good idea to settle on this area? Hmmmm...I think it is a great idea to build a town on a swamp! Alligators? Haven't seen one, but now that I think about it, I have wondered where Timmy and Suzy disappeared to. Actually, in reality, this area belonged to a tribe of Native Americans, dammit, I knew the name but fear I'll get it wrong. There's a reserve and casino not far from the prison, I think. Anyways, humidity also brings out the giant vampire mosquitos that take a pint of blood everytime they land
on you. I have this huge welp where one got my face last night.
I did get my attorney phone call. The guards took me to the visitation room where the calls are made
( for privacy, I guess? Normal phone calls to family are done in the sergeants office)
about an hour early and the lady who runs visitation was pissed that I was out there so early but I said, Hey, I don't
mind just sitting here. Got nothing better to do and besides a little break from the pods won't hurt. She put me in a booth and I waited. At one o'clock afternoon I called my lawyer and we talked about 10 minutes. He said he made
a couple of last minute changes on the appeal and would send me a copy over night mail. It has been filed and now we play the waiting game on the state's response. At this point the train is in motion and now I'm in the hands of fate and time. Nervous? Hell yeah, but I've done what I could do. Now it is really up to how good my lawyers arguement is and how fair the nudge is. I don't like playing the victim role as I'm not and I really try not to, but anyone who knows my case knows I got screwed and didn't get a fair trial.
How can you try six guys all the same and expect it to be fair? you can't. My plan is to have it all posted on the site so you can come to your own conclusion or just follow along.
I got some comics that have been under review by the mail room for well over
a month.I'm not really into super heroes outside of BATMAN, but it is frustrating to be treated like a kid and have every little thing reviewed and checked
for sexually explicit comics. I'm not getting porn. It is a freaking comic book. A nipple here and there? Sure, but Jesus, I look at my own nipples every day. And you do to. Don't deny it. You look at your nipples you sinner! But whatever. I deal with it. So, just to nerd out for a bit, the best publisher by far is IMAGE. They're nailing it with content; stories, writers artists. If you like these things or just want to expand your horizons I highly suggest the following titles: Alex t Ada...it is sort of a human
meets android type story but gets into what makes us unique. What makes us human. The story has been told before, but the way this comic is done is just beautiful and cinematic.
The Walking Dead...Most people are familiar with the t.v. show but don't limit yourself. The two are very different ( similar characters but different story animals. But in terms of epic awesomeness...it is the best hands down. Chew...So funny...it is hard to explain other than saying: POYO! Revival...dark, kind of rural noir. Dead people come back to life and
freak the town out. They aren't zombies but resume the life they once had. Sheltered...Lord of the flies but with a survivalist type twist.
A few others that a friend has been following and I just checked out that were shockingly good: Morning Glories and Mind The Gap. Check 'em out if you dare!
I think I'm going to wind down for the day and read a bit.
I'm soooo tired. This won't be a long entry I assure you. After this, I'm waiting on mail and going to sleep. I played 38 games of basketball today and was just exhausted at the end of, it. I realize that I'm no longer a
spring chicken. 5o, what happened in these 38 games? I lost is what happened. But barely. At first I was getting my ass kicked. I mean, he came out swinging and before I knew it it was 10 games to 2. I said to myself, u WTF? Seriously dude? I was getting very frustrated and even -
some water, poured some on my head and got my mind together. After that I fought back. We tied up 11-
up at 18-
run and that is what counted. I'm going to try to get back outside on friday.
It is an off day. That means the section that I currently live on has no recreation so I've just been cleaning my cell, getting rid of junk/clutter as it drives me nuts...
I had a couple of books I've read and needed to give away to whomeever wanted to read it and make room incase we go on lock down in the next few weeks, as it is approaching.
Next week I'll be pretty busy and the week after because some friends are coming to see. Can't wait.
Other than that it has been non-
Weekends really suck-
fact that we could get out of our cells everyday of the week. Now we only get five days of recreation
( two days mandatory outside ), but the trade off was we get a two hour rec. period.
So, yes, we do get a few more hours,
but the days stuck in a cell...I don't care for it. Depending on what section you live on is what your days off are. Well, sunday everyone is stuck in their cell which essentially gives the guards a free pay day because all they hbve to do is pass out lunch and maybe dinner...I just want this day to be over
so that I can begin a new week and look forward to the good things coming in the next two week.
Yesterday wasn't all that bad. I went outside and was able to get a rematch and win my ice cream back. I won 16-
to wear the other guy down. I knew I ran the risk of tiring myself out as well but it paid off. Once we were tied up he asked if we wanted to call it a draw. I said, " Hell no." he said, " Okay, that is wear you messed up. I gave you a chance to walk away but now I have to beat you." But just like
in the last match I ran out of juice, he ran out this time. When I came back in I waited on a shower and listened to Radio Lab, a really great program I've made mention of before. They were talking about why humans are so moved by music-
Today it has been about killing time. I started the morning off listening
to the news, doing laundry and a bit of writing. I wrote my brother whom I've been super concerned about lately because he's been in out of jail on stupid stuff due, I believe, mostly because of his dianosis of schizophrenia. It makes sense out of a lot of his behaviors since early on. I think where I
get the most angry about the overall situation is that my parents could've done something to help him. I don't like to judge them and I have nothing but love for them because they did give me and my brothers a nice life but often I feel like they dropped the ball on so much. When things got tough
they threw their hands up in the air and said 'not our problem'. That is what makes me upset. I just want my brother to be okay. I want him to find help
in some way and get his life back on track.
I'll probably spend the rest of the day reading as there isn't anything worth listening to mvie-
but here's the thing...it is sooo hard for me to invest myself into a program after LOST. That show really ruined me with t.v. I mean, I love the Good Wife, great show, great, acting, writing. But can I honestly say I caught every single episode each week? I've gotten burned out on The Big Bang...still funny when I do listen to it, but I think since TBS runs it like a thousand times
a day it burned me out. The only summer show I look forward to in a few days is my guilty pleasure is " Big Brother" but even that doesn't start to get really good and exciting until the end of July. When people are really cutting each others throats and trying to win. The whole building alliances early
on is kind of meh. We'll see. Last year when they switched over to satellite and gave the general population inmates TBS/TNT/USA I was excited because
I thought " Yes! More movies! More dhows!!!" but then it turned out to be
A few of the same movies EVERY WEEK and marathons of the same show. Hey, in the greater scheme of things it means little, but when you're trying to pass time you want it to be with something that interests you. At this point the only thing that would probably be interesting is NETFLIX but I have a greater chance of sprouting wings out of my ass and flying away then that. T.V. SUCKS. Well, atleast basic t.v. does. This is why I am so hooked on comics now. It has become a sort of defacto movie/t.v. for me.
Did I really just rant about t.v.? See how bored I am? I'm gonna go read a book.
I haven't been able to write over the past couple of days because I'd been having some special visits and they went really well. I thought I'd drop a few lines and tell of a CRAZY thing that happened justa few hours ago...Holy crap was it nuts. But anyways, it was a great experience and I really loved being out there and just chatting and enjoying anothers presence. It is hard to put into words what a visit does to a person back here. The prison just
So, the first day of my special visit I went back to my cell right after the visit was over. It ,.really depends on the day; which guards are escorting us to visit ( we have to have two guard escorts everywhere we go. One holds our arm like a date to the prom and the other stands behind you with a night stick to beat the shit of you should you decide to cop a feel on your lovely prom date. Like an over protective dad.), how long it takes them to get to your cell and strip search you ( done twice-
The second day it took about an hour.
So, I'm sitting in the little booth kind of reflecting on the visit, watching the visitors pass by on the other side in a bit of a day dream. There are people in the booths on both sides of me but I'm not really focused on their conversation at all. Infact, it is unusually quiet. Out of nowhere, the guy in the booth on the left side of starts grunting and going, " Oh! Oh! Oh! Fuck yeah! Yeah! Take it bitch...take it!" and then..." Ahhhhhhh...fuck yeah, fuch. That was fucking awesome..." My eyes are wide and I'm thinking ' Holy crap... was this guy just choking his chicken right next to me? I mean, okay, you're having some romantic time with your wife, girlfriend-
not go down in a blaze of glory. No I did not.
Wonderful...We're on lock down.
This is the first time in the history of me being locked up that they start a lock down on a sunday! Sunday? Sunday! On top of that-
Who does that?
Apparently this new warden does is who.
Friday will be INdependence Day and we usually get something decent to eat, some watermelon, chicken, corn on the cobb and now it is going to be freaking peanut butter and jelly and bologna? Great! What ass holes.
Woke up at about seven this morning. It was nice to sleep in.
I stayed up a little bit late because there were some stations coming in out of Austin and Dallas.
There was this really cool EDM station out of Dallas that was
great to listen to for the thirty or so minutes it was clear.
Houston radio sucks.
I have no idea where they started the shakedowns.
I guess this lock down will go until sometime next week. It sucks. I think I'll spend the day reading.